Worth the Tradeout

One of my favorite sayings is "Everything in life is a tradeout".  As I listened to the Stations of the Cross this morning on http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/ , and read the scripture from Mark 15:1-15, I am humbled to realize that Jesus knew what He would have to tradeout...His life for my sins.  He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, "Yet not what I will, but what you will".
Pilate traded out the desires of the crowd, Barabbas, as he handed Jesus over for flogging then crucifixion. 
What am I willing to tradeout to do the will of the Father?  Will I listen to "the crowd" or will I pray the prayer of Jesus, "Not what I will, but what you will"?

Dear Lord,
As I continue my steps toward the cross this week, the words  from Romans 12:2 speak to my heart:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Through the work of your Holy Spirit in my life, help me to tradeout the patterns of this world for the ability to know your will.  You are Immanuel-God with us.  Amen

From a Distance.....

As I continue to listen to the Stations of the Cross @ http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/ , the scripture in Luke 22:54-62 describes the scene in which Peter denies Jesus at the house of the high priest.  Verse 54 recounts how Peter followed "at a distance" those that seized Jesus and were taking him to the house.  Peter had just testified to his devotion to Jesus in the guest room at the Last Supper, "I am ready to go with ou to prison and to death."  Of course, Jesus already knew of Peter's denial and said as much after Peter's statement of devotion. 
While before the Lord, I confess my devotion and love, but do I follow from a distance when others are ready to mock him? 
Thank you, most loving and holy Lord, that despite my failings to stand with you, You still love and care for me as my Holy Father.  Help me to be bold through the power of the Holy Spirit and share Your love with those that are hurting...despite the costs or accusations. You are, Immanuel, God with us...Amen

Where Do I Fit in the Crowd of Betrayal?

As I begin this Holy Week, I am listening to the Stations of the Cross devotionals on http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/. As I begin the First Station, The Arrest of Jesus, I am challenged to think about where I would fit in the crowd that was present at Jesus's arrest (Mark 14:43-51).   There was the twelve (including Judas), a crowd armed with swords and clubs and the young man wearing nothing but a linen garment. 
I am fascinated by the young man wearing only a linen garment that flees naked when Jesus is seized. 
I tend to think that I might be that young man, dedicated to following Jesus, showing the world that I have sacrificed for Him ("Look at me, I'm only wearing this linen garment...I've given up so much"). But then, as Jesus is arrested, he leaves the sacrifice behind and flees.....
Dear Lord, as I continue my journey toward the cross this Holy Week, help me to be faithful to that which you have called me.  Despite what I will face on this earth, help me to continue to stand with you, relying on the power of the Holy Spirit to strengthen and encourage me. Immanuel-God with us! Amen

Feeding the Beast of Unworthiness

Now, Haman thought to himself, "Who is there that the king would rather honor than me"? Esther 6:6

As I worked through the daily lesson of the Beth Moore Bible Study (Esther) this morning, I recalled an event in my life that I had long forgotten.

After having an unprecedented year of sales, I was given the opportunity to interview for a national training position. This was a position that I had desired since entering pharmaceutical sales. I had taken advantage of many opportunities to participate in training events, both in our region and at the national level. I had been told many times, “You’re a natural trainer….you should consider working in the training division…” In other words, I felt like I had received support and was a shoo-in for the position.

Unbeknownst to me, my interview was a sham. The position had been filled and my interview was only conducted to make it “look like” they had offered me an opportunity. Not only was I hurt and disappointed, but I was angry. It took me a long time to “shake off” those feelings and refocus my efforts on my current position.

This and other past events have been used by “Big Red” to reinforce my feelings of unworthiness. It is a constant struggle for me to see myself as worthy in the eyes of my Creator and King. Many times, I found myself seeking honor or praise from others to overcome these feelings. God has taught me many times that my worth comes only from being His child…there is no greater honor.

As I continue my journey to the cross, I find myself completely humbled to even BE on the journey. To be a participant in this journey comes only from the saving grace and mercy of my Lord and King. If it weren’t for His sacrifice for me and my sins, I would be struggling to feed the beast of unworthiness with empty honor and praise from the world.

My salvation and my honor depends on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Psalm 62:7

Dear Lord, As I continue this Lenten journey to the cross, help me to humble myself and realize that the only praise and honor that’s needed is to be a servant of my King. Help me to realize that praise and honor from the world is empty and useless in eternity. My heart’s desire is to hear those words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. What a great honor that will be! Amen

Dreaming About a Dirty House

On my journey to the cross during this Lenten season, per request of our pastor, I am recording thoughts that God seems to be giving me along the way. Last night I had a dream that I know has significance in my journey. My husband and I were moving into a house that clearly was unfit for human habitation. We were trying to clean, repair and get the house in some shape in which to live. Finally, after exhaustive efforts, we finally decided that it was beyond repair.....and that's when I woke up.

As I reflected on that dream this morning, I was reminded of the words of one of my favorite songs, Gentle Savior by David Phelps. There is no doubt that God is speaking to me through the dream and the words of the song.

Why can’t I walk away from my regrets
And why is forgiveness so hard to accept.
My past surrounds me like a house I can’t afford.
But You say, "Come with me; don’t live there anymore".

Turning around to return to a "dirty house" will only be futile..I must surrender any thoughts of looking back on my journey toward the cross.

The psalmist said it the best...
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Now, that's the place I want to live....

Dear Lord, Help me to see how futile and uncomfortable it is to live in a house with all of our wordly "furniture and filth". Your promise of being with you forever in the house of the Lord is more than we can fathom. Thank you for the grace, mercy and forgiveness that allows us to leave that earthly house and move-in to a house full of Your love.
Immanuel, God with us! Amen